Q. Which is the appropriate age for having sex? 
A. There are legal limits for having sexual intercourse in India. Intercourse before the age of 16 years could be considered as rape even if done with mutual consent. Generally adolescents could have sex when they are physically and mentally ready for it and understand the consequences of their action.

Q. My boyfriend wants to have a physical relationship to which I do not agree. What should I do to not make him upset?
A. You should not do something against your will. Are you both committed for a long-term relationship? Try to explain to him your reservations and if he is dedicated he should appreciate your concerns. Giving sex to achieve happiness will not work. It is usually the other way.

Q.What are the problems of premarital sex?
A. The guilty feeling of losing virginity haunts many especially when it is done on the sly. You may feel you have cheated the trust of your parents. With a chance of a pregnancy you face the consequences of abortions, their complications and social ostracism. Also are the risks of sexually transmitted diseases including HIV are a reality especially if condoms are not being used.

Q. I had unplanned intercourse with my boyfriend last night. We did not use protection. I am afraid of becoming pregnant. What should I do?
A. The risk of pregnancy may be roughly estimated from the time of the cycle intercourse had occurred, maximum risk being in the middle of the cycle. Emergency contraception comes in the picture here. The best-known names are i-pill (Single tablet Cipla) and Unwanted 72 (2 tablets Mankind). Taken within 72 hours from the time of intercourse, it reduces the chances of pregnancy by 90%.  The other facts to remember are that the emergency pills are not meant for routine use, they are only 90% effective and they are applicable for a single act of intercourse. Also the efficacy decreases from 0- 72 hrs i.e. it is most efficacious if taken closer to the time of intercourse.

Q. How good are the ‘withdrawal method’ or ‘safe period’ methods in preventing pregnancy?
A. The withdrawal method is one of the most unreliable methods of contraception. It has a failure rate of over 25 – 30% i.e. once in 3 - 4 attempts. The safe period is avoiding sex at a time of the cycle when the chances of pregnancy are the maximum. This usually means the middle time of the period roughly 8 – 9 days after the bleeding starts for a period of 10 – 12 days. This is also not very reliable having a failure rate of 15 – 20% and not recommended in isolation.

Q. Is oral sex bad? Can there be a pregnancy?
A. Oral sex carries the risk of sexually transmitted diseases as in the case of genital penetration. There is no risk of pregnancy however. Whether it is good or bad depends on the way you look at it.

Q. Are there harmful effects of anal intercourse?
A. Unless adequate lubrication is used, tears in the mucosa may occur. The risk of sexual transmission of diseases increases, though pregnancy chances are less.

Q. During fondling my breasts I recently noticed some secretions. I am scared. What should I do?
A. Do not panic. Do not keep pressing to check for secretions as it often stimulates discharge. Among other things like being on certain group of medicines, there may be abnormal hormone levels responsible but often no cause is found. Any way almost never does it have anything to do with cancer. It would be wise to get yourself checked by a doctor.

Q. I have had intercourse several times with my previous boyfriend. I have recently been engaged. How can I hide the fact that I have lost my virginity?
A. There is no sure way of knowing or establishing virginity. Regarding hymen rupture and vaginal dilatation they could occur from anything like astride injuries, horse riding and masturbation. It would be difficult to make out. You could do some Kegels exercises for tightening the vagina. Alternately you could have a vaginoplasty to get back the ‘tight fit’.

Q. How can I show affection to my friend without intercourse?
A. There are more than one ways where you can show affection to your partner. A kiss, hug or cuddle could be the physical ways. A crafty love letter, a cute gift, a surprise treat could be other ways of showing affection.

Q. Is it wrong to look at or read  ‘pornographic” material?
A. It would be wrong if you let it affect your studies or concentration which is bound to occur at your age so take it in your stride and put it off till you are old enough to handle it.

Q. My parents do not allow me to wear short skirts and deep necklines, they are old fashioned and because of this my friends really laugh at me and boys are not attracted to me.
A. Showing skin and exposing yourself will not earn you the friendship and respect of your friends or boys. Your parents are not old-fashioned. They are just concerned about your safety. You can be trendy, smart and attractive without having to show skin by wearing well-fitted clothes of the right colour and using the right accessories.